my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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