Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
