kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I believe in your delicious
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
