I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
