I accidentally had phone sex last night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
