none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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