Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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