I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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