I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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