Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
