I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
