Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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