im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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