dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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