We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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