I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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