you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
