Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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