Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
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I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
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I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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