I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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