Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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