She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
