you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
