I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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