She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight