Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I told you penises don't tan
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void