Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

What should our trivia night team be named?

(925): View more from California

Define Statutory

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(206): What should our trivia night team be named? (925): Define Statutory http://tfl.nu/hrvk

Replies (27) Good night (4656) Bad night (654)
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(818): View more from California

I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.

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(818): I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here. http://tfl.nu/5v02

Replies (19) Good night (790) Bad night (4842)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.

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(480): I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty. http://tfl.nu/9fyr

Replies (100) Good night (4056) Bad night (640)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!

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(870): The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!! http://tfl.nu/bjxs

Replies (31) Good night (3814) Bad night (1187)
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(541): View more from Oregon

i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.

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(541): i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar. http://tfl.nu/crfd

Replies (7) Good night (3274) Bad night (1938)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?

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(662): He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people? http://tfl.nu/km81

Replies (9) Good night (990) Bad night (3244)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.

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(609): please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future. http://tfl.nu/vzzo

Replies (7) Good night (2670) Bad night (626)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.

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(250): Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment. http://tfl.nu/7c81

Replies (10) Good night (1310) Bad night (2297)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.

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(250): I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out. http://tfl.nu/u7xj

Replies (4) Good night (1107) Bad night (1396)
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(360): View more from Washington

I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.

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(360): I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid. http://tfl.nu/iiw2

Replies (5) Good night (1626) Bad night (506)
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(707): View more from California

At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.

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(707): At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU. http://tfl.nu/z9mt

Replies (9) Good night (736) Bad night (1146)
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(818): View more from California

The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.

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(818): The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me. http://tfl.nu/w1nr

Replies (18) Good night (5947) Bad night (521)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.

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(307): I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open. http://tfl.nu/7eks

Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (684)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....

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(201): Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza..... http://tfl.nu/oi2c

Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (312)
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(425): View more from Washington

That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick

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(425): That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick http://tfl.nu/9s4e

Replies (3) Good night (674) Bad night (227)

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