My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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