I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
