wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.