I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
