Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize