You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize