I wish I could teleport
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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