If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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