Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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