belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you would pick up someone in the library
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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