I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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