I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
