lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
