**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
