he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
