Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
