your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
