Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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