Redeem this text for a blowjob
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
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