It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
