found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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