Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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