At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
