ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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