Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
