next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
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you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
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The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
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