lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Even my vagina gasped.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
