You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
