Me too!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
