So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
