Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
