What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize