Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i wish my penis had a tongue
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
