those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
