Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This is the high leading the old right now
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
