youre lurking in front of me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
